I'm going to give you a gift today. I'm going to let you be in full control of your actions, your feelings and your destiny. *Poof* There you go. How does that feel?
It's no magic trick, and I didn't give this power to you. You have had it all along.
A lot of people feel pushed and pulled by forces around them; many, many people feel powerless in the face of these forces. Children will often say "you made me mad", when in reality that the "mad" was their reaction to a situation. Children are still learning how to control their reactions, but you are already in control!
This change in attitude from being controlled to being in control is a major mindset shift for many people. There are definitely some forces and events beyond our control, but many of our day-to-day experiences result from our own action. And when you are in the driver's seat, you can change the action and the outcome. You can make the outcome better for you!
For example, if you have a major piece of work coming up, you may see it as daunting. The due date may be inflexible, the complexity overwhelming. You may delay action on this seemingly insurmountable task. Then the due date approaches and you panic, scrambling to get something put together into a hasty, less quality product. You feel powerless and out of control.
or.....
You can see that task coming from a mile away and spend some time thinking and planning. Break the task into manageable chunks. Make a list of people you need to consult. Set interim due dates for the sub-tasks. Leave adequate time for quality control and review at the end. You will feel in control and your outcome will be a higher-quality product which reflects much better on your performance.
You can see from this example that you were in control of both outcomes. But the first approach left you feeling out of control! You decided to have the outcome that left you scrambling! How uncool was that?
One way to think about this approach is through a lens of compassion towards your future self. If you consider that your current actions will have repercussions in the future, take a moment to consider this before you take that step. If you do the dishes tonight, even though you're tired, you will have clean dishes and a clean kitchen to make breakfast tomorrow. It will make your morning easier and more efficient. You will feel more relaxed in a tidier space. So your current self can be a friend to your future self!
So, boss, how are you going to use your newfound power and change your future today?
Happy reading,
Rachel
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