In the world of internet free advice (IFA; Hi! Welcome to my blog!), there are two major lines of thinking which seem contradictory.
The first is the narrative about loving yourself and self-acceptance. This is a very important theme to explore for everyone, particularly women. It can be really hard to love the person you are because (a) you only see yourself from the inside, in mirrors and through camera lenses, (b) you are inundated with societally-driven beauty and behaviour norms that you can't see in yourself because of point (a), and (c) you are flooded with messages that people who conform to these norms are perfect, and everyone else is a failure who has to work harder. Recently, movements towards self-love have been growing, and this is a very good thing. After all, happiness should be a daily norm for all of us, and being happy with ourselves is linked hand-in-hand with this self-love and self-acceptance.
Once we have accepted that we should love and accept ourselves, we re-enter the fun roller-coaster of trickery I like to call "problems I didn't know I had". This is where most of IFA thrives. They will inform you of this new "problem" (thigh gap, anyone?) and cause you to examine your worth through that new societally-driven norm, causing you to spiral back to that feeling of failure. But wait! We can fix that, says IFA. Here is our handy bit of free partial advice, and see what else? If you pay us some money, we will give you additional (non-free) advice that will get you there quicker/faster/easier. And maybe a printable (not that anyone has a printer anymore, do they?)
The interesting thing is that we are all on a continuous journey of change (except that guy who only eats Big Macs every day). So, yes, there are likely things you'd like to work on within yourself. In fact, if there isn't anything you want to improve or change in your life, you may want to do a quick check-in and introspect on that point, and maybe seek some counselling for narcissism.
But here is where the true mind-twist comes. You can be absolutely, completely happy with yourself, and still see room for improvement, and areas you want to change. The radical difference is in approach.
Recognizing the changes you want to make, and seeing how they can improve your life is a valuable way of improving your well-being. And can make you even happier than ever! But you must at all cost avoid that crazy exit ramp to the death spiral of failure-feelings. And remember, some person on the internet decided "thigh gap" was a thing, and others decided they looked pretty successful, so they went along with it. You are smarter than that! You get to decide what you allow yourself to consider in the wide world of self-improvement, and what to toss out as compost.
So go forth and be happy with yourself. Accept yourself as you are. And most of all, keep striving to change your life for the better. After all, you deserve that happiness, and more!
Happy reading,
Rachel
Comments